Film Trick
Movies typically entertain us. The creativity of movie-makers can create such a thrill for their viewers, not least in the area of the occasional stunts that are done in some movie genre. They typically leave viewers on the edges of their seats, with a desire for more action. Over the years, the term “film trick” has come to refer to something in a movie that is extraordinary – often a stunt or some other creative effect.
There are more film tricks in movies than what the average person would imagine. Some of the content of the movies we see aren’t as realistic as they appear. In fact, a lot of what thrills us is not real though it appears to be. What do I mean by that? Film tricks are manipulations of the natural, done to create an effect, to achieve a purpose envisioned by a producer. In the same way that some obvious film tricks are done in order to create an impression on you, some that aren’t obvious are also done with a similar intention or at the least, an effect is achieved, whether or not it is a part of the original plan of the producer or director.
The influencing ability of what we experience is quite enormous. The human mind learns easily – it readily receives and absorbs information, starting from childhood. John Locke, a philosopher, said, “Humans are born with a blank slate; where one’s environment has the ability to shape their mind and experience”. The validity of the statement has been debated by some but there is some truth to it. As we have lived over the years, we have become what we believed, how we thought, what we decided and how we acted towards people and our environment. Observing history and comparing the lives of people in the past with the lives of people in the present will reveal a difference linked with their environment and sources of influence.
As time has rolled by, discoveries and inventions of various types have been made. In addition, the world has gone through series of changes in systems, with the increase of knowledge, discovery, industrialisation and modernisation. If you consider Hollywood, you would find that a movie made 40 to 50 years ago would be less intriguing than one made more recently. When it was originally made, it may have been outstanding but with the developments that have taken place over the years, such a movie would have lost some of its lustre and maybe even become laughable. Why would people today laugh at something that was perhaps thrilling several years earlier? Expectations have evolved as new standards have been set.
Right from childhood, we tend to practice what we see older ones do. Whether on- or off-screen, children learn by repeating. Sometimes it’s what they see their parents do or it’s actions or statements from a cartoon, drama or another video or audio activity. This continues unto the point of maturity though older ones would be more selective. Movies depict and teach and their messages have a great effect on their viewers. A romance movie, for example, may depict something as true love where a married man leaves his wife for another woman on the claim that he is no longer in love with his wife or because life with his wife is not as enjoyable as he desires. With such a movie having an end where the new relationship is shown as successful, a subtle psychological message may be sent to viewers, suggesting that one’s personal happiness is a good reason for abandoning a marriage. In other words, the movie may cause its viewers to think that irrespective of marriage vows or the grief that comes with a broken marriage, as long as one has a strong feeling of exploring a romance with someone new, one should go for it.
The messages from many of these movies are really subtle but strong. Over time, their effect will be felt strongly. Film tricks. Full of make-believe ideas, they sway us from reality. Now, unlike the movie stunts I mentioned originally, which are not necessarily harmful though they aren’t real, some movie makers provide dangerous entertainment for their audiences. The pornographic ones are an example. Today, a lot of unwholesome sexual acts are portrayed in completely erotic movies. They thrill their audiences and offer them the promise of exciting sexual encounters. Sadly, their viewers would not know that apart from the fact that some of the actors are not as happy as they are depicted to be, the scenes acted out are sometimes done under the influence of illicit drugs.
Some pornographic actors are not as happy as they are made to appear. They endure the pains and dangers of abused sexual organs and many more physical and psychological issues. In the end, because it is a job that they are doing, which they are paid for, they continue doing it for the money. They earn their living from recorded sexual performances. However, one must recognise that some pornographic actors simply enjoy what they do and may not have a need for the money earned through that lifestyle. Why classify these movies as film tricks? That’s because although they may not have visual or audio manipulations characteristic of some action, science fiction movies or those of other genre, they largely trick the minds of their viewers. They cause them to crave what appear to be thrilling sexual experiences even though in reality those things may be different from what the movie projects because the people involved in the sexual act may not be having as much pleasure as they are made to appear to be having.
Is it a film trick? Yes and No. Based on my definition earlier it shouldn’t be, because there is no manipulation of the natural. They are real people really carrying out an act that is recorded, right? But if you look deeper into it, it has played a trick on your mind, on what is acceptable in having a pleasurable sex life or one “made in heaven”. On the other hand, the people acting the roles are not necessarily deriving pleasure in it but are probably making a living through it. Such actions are sometimes stimulated with drugs, added with other things that make them active and charged with an endless desire to want more.
40 to 50 years ago, some sexual activities that are acceptable today were not to be imagined. They were abnormal, to say the least. Today, some people want those activities done between them and their spouses. For some people, their marriages would be incomplete without them. Why would those condemnable sexual acts be acceptable for many today? It’s not hard to imagine – acceptance occurs over a period of time. What might be disgusting at first glance could become desirable after one has been exposed to it for some time. Allowing oneself a second view of such sexual activity would typically open oneself to acceptance. It would bring about a new normal – the acceptance of the abnormal.
Another case that demonstrates the power of movies and their ability to influence is the use of profane language. While there are many vile words that have always had negative connotations, some of today’s vulgar words were not always negative. The popular use of those words to connote negative things gradually led to their adoption of new meanings such that their original meanings became largely insignificant. I did a research on the history of some present-day vulgar expressions. While the histories of some of those terms are hazy, my study revealed that many were originally not used to degrade or offend people but through popular media, their extensive use for negative connotations earned them the status of vulgar. Popular media led many to adopt the negative connotations of those words as their substantive meanings, thereby influencing policies to be made for censorship of those words. Some of such words are those spelled, “F-U-C-K, S-H-I-T, P-I-S-S-E-D and H-E-L-L”. If the practice of using everyday normal words for profanity were to continue, what would become of today’s decent words and expressions?
Though the history of few of these words could be traced as far back as the beginning of time and others lack the recorded history of its first usage, it is safe to say that the extensive use of it in a bad connation was escalated profusely by the media & entertainment Industry, which has influenced the usage of such in public, whereby bringing up laws to censor such.
The censorship of vulgar words, rather than cause them to become unpopular, sometimes further helps in entrenching their use because by nature, many people like to use vulgar expressions. People sometimes like to use the words that would cause the most harm to their opponents so where there is verbal assault, such words would likely hit it hard in a negative way to the person receiving it. I’m not in any way making a call for the removal of vulgar terms from censorship. I’m instead making a case for caution in what is openly presented to people. Our movies don’t have to be filled with vulgarisms and pornography before they can be enjoyable. Entertainment should be decent. Whatever the nature of content we give our audiences, it should be something that we can be openly proud of – something that would not go against the tenets of love and dignity, for decency and respect for God and the human person. If the abhorrence we allow today has such a profound influence on our minds in the long- and short-term, imagine what influence they would have on the minds of our young and unborn generation?
Exaggerated Lies
They say, “Lightning never strikes in the same place twice” but in Bizzaria it does, at least so Bizzarians claim. For instance, if a bad incident occurred once, they could retell it several times, in the same way, as if it happened again, when it didn’t.”
Bizzarians are hardworking and intelligent. They are also known for their hospitality but they are liars. Lies pour out of their mouths reflexively. You would wonder if those lies were produced by machines in their brains. It is true that people generally lie but with Bizzarians, the depth is far greater.
What makes the lying nature of Bizzarians particularly bad is the fact that they have no remorse over it. It’s a way of life for them. You may say they consider it indispensable in their daily living – something they cannot do without. “Hello! When will you be coming over?” you might ask one of them. “In a few minutes” they might reply. However, there might not be the slightest interest in coming over, contrary to the assurance given. “Could you help me with a loan?” you might request. “Okay, sometime next week” they might reply. The following week, they would act as though the discussion never took place.
The worst situation with Bizzarians’ character is probably their exaggerations. Attempt to convince one to buy something and a conversation might go as follows:
Sales person: You should buy this book, sir. You would love it.
Bizzarian: I stopped reading years ago. (He might actually have read the night before)
Sales person: Why’s that, sir?
Bizzarian: These books come in such small prints and make it difficult to read.
Sales person: Why don’t you use reading glasses, sir?
Bizzarian: They’re so expensive and they hurt my eyes (He might actually have a pair he uses at home)
Sales person: I can recommend to you someone who gives good and inexpensive prescriptions. His clients always give good testimonies of his services.
Bizzarian: You know, I actually prefer the more expensive prescriptions. I think they last longer and are more manageable. I’m saving money for one of those. When I get one, I’ll let you know.
Conversation over! The Bizzarian has escaped the sales person and walks away, feeling happy. The sales person is left feeling drained of energy, having wasted his time on a fruitless discussion. Bizzarians seem to have well-rehearsed lies for every situation. They are accustomed to a perceived need to distort things for their benefit.
Why do they do this? Aren’t Bizzarians worried that they cannot be trusted? Aren’t they ashamed that they aren’t bound by their words? Sadly, being bound by their words is not a priority for Bizzarians. They have no interest in being seen to be accountable in that way. Consider what happened between two friends, Lucy and Drake.Lucy spotted Drake seated at the balcony of a flat in a high-rise building. She was happy to see him and tried to beckon at him from below. He didn’t see her and continued with what he was doing until she dialled his phone number. Unwilling to receive the call, he ignored it. She called three times but he ignored the first two calls. Tired of her redialling, he decided to receive the last call.
“Hi, Drake! Why haven’t you been picking my calls?” she asked. “Oh, I’ve been in the shower. I just got out” he replied. “That’s a lie!” She yelled. “It’s the gospel truth”, he responded. “Drake, I’m right below the balcony where you are.” She said. “I saw you sitting there before I called. Look down, I’m waving at you now”. On seeing Lucy, Drake was ashamed. He waved back, like a little child shamelessly succumbing to the fact that he had been caught in a silly act.
Do things have to be this way for Bizzarians? Can’t they do things conscientiously? Do they have to suffer silly embarrassments as in the case of Drake, before they make a change in their behaviour? It can’t be worthwhile to continue to try to deceive people constantly. There should be a change to it. There should be a point of reflection, to refrain from continuing in that way. Having to expend effort in fabricating stories for deceit is such a sad situation but Bizzarians don’t seem to learn. They make the same mistakes over and over again.
Is everyone in Bizzaria a liar? No! There are actually a good number of Bizzarians who are honest but they are often not acknowledged. To begin with, the negative impressions about Bizzarians cause little regard to be given to others, even where they are honest but in addition to that, the forthright ones are often persecutedin more ways than one. They continue to press on with the hope that the negativity ascribed to their people would be erased as a result of their exceptional actions.
The honest Bizzarians hope that they would get past the shadow of darkness cast by their disgraceful countrymen. They hope that they and others like them will someday stand out as the ones who define their homeland so that there would be a new norm; a Bizzaria known for truth everyday.
Written
By
Ikenna I. Anyadike
Edited by Chukwudifu Onianwa, of ChuDifu Projects
Time!
Time! Who’s to say it’s not important? We all make use of it. Some try to buy it, some squander it, while others watch it go by. Time dictates how most of us live our lives. Sometimes we run after it as if we could ever catch up with it. It’s used as a measuring tool, to assess how well we’ve done in life. Our use of time can be likened to being engaged in studies that would culminate in an examination. It’s absolutely important.
The benefits we’ll reap from our use of time,in our latter days, depend on how we make use of it in earlier days.Benefits! Does time really come with benefits? Yes, you can use your time to acquire skills, wealth, health, healing, restoration and many other things.One saying goes, “Time is money!” Some might disagree however, since it can’t be bought, controlled, acquired or inherited.
The effect of time is inevitable. God created the sun and the moon and set them on the course that they are presently on. They will continue to determine the times and seasons on earth as God has ordained them to do so time is unchangeable. We cannot stop its course. Could time then be blamed for everything on earth? Since it is set and will run its course, can’t we safely say that nobody can determine anything on earth? Is it possible to have control where time is concerned?Isn’t it so that people have no options and are thus destined for whatever comes their way over time? Let us examine some cases to see.
One man, Sunny, was a personal driver to a bank executive. Sunny had a challenging upbringing. He started working as a driver by the time he was 20, as he had need to make ends meet, with no one to fend for him. After driving his boss to his destination on various occasions, he would recline in the car seat and fall asleep. He often complained to others about how his boss kept him waiting in the car for hours, whenever he drove him for one function or the other. He also complained that his salary was very low. Whenever people suggested that he seek higher education, he shrugged it off, telling them that he had no time for such. He seemed to want or expect things would become better for him in an instant.
Eric was the breadwinner in his home. Being the first child of his parents, he very quickly took up the responsibility of fending for his family. Having never had tertiary education, his opportunities for higher employment pay were smaller. He contributed towards payment for his siblings’ education through his job as a cleaner in the restaurant where he worked. During his free time, he would work on developing his skills in the area where he was gifted – singing. One day, at the restaurant, he got into a conversation with a customer who had picked an interest in him because of his dedication to his job. Eric mentioned his passion for singing and his dream of becoming a world-acclaimed musician in the future. The customer was so moved by Eric’s focus that he invited the young man for a proper meeting in his office. This led to Eric’s eventual breakout into the music industry, where he became a success.
Uwem was an intelligent boy. It didn’t take long for him to decide on what course of study to pursue. He eventually graduated with a distinction in computer science, from one of the most technologically-sound universities in the country. Uwem was what you could call a whiz kid. There was almost no gadget that he couldn’t repair. He got a good job with a multi-national company, as their IT officer, with a good salary, giving him a great career start,ahead of his peers. He however became complacent,thinking that with his knowledge, he could never become irrelevant. He spent most of his free time on social activities until he realised that the knowledge he had was fast becoming obsolete and his relevance in his office was reducing. After many years, he started to retrace his steps. Sadly, his employers eventually laid him off, deciding it was in their interest to hire a more adaptable young man, as Uwem had shown that he wasn’t as agile or reliable as he was originally. Now in his early forties, Uwem had to start competing for work with younger, more adaptable professionals. After several disappointments, he eventually settled for a job as a supermarket supervisor.
Nnamdi was an apprentice in a commodities trading business. He started learning the trade after completing his secondary school education. He was diligent and so before long he had mastered the trade. He knew the best markets to shop at, how to strike a good bargain understood seasonal demand and became excellent at bookkeeping. To crown it all, Nnamdi was excellent at customer service. He knew how to treat customers specially and they always enjoyed buying things from him. After his seven years learning the trade, he got his master’s blessing to set out on his own, which he wasted no time in doing. It didn’t take him time to break even in business. With his free time and little savings, Nnamdi had added further to himself through study. He was fond of reading and eventually enrolled for part-time studies and educated himself till he acquired an MBA. His business became international, as his clientele spanned individuals and businesses from various countries within and outside Africa.
What did the people in these stories have in common? Humble beginnings and the basic twenty-four hours that everyone else has daily! These people differed in how they used their time, however. Some invested their time early and wisely and eventually benefitted from it. Others used their time less-carefully and ended up regretting it. Many of us complain about the time available to us but the real problem is our management of the time that we all have. Rather than complain, we should determine to use our time wisely. When time is gone it can’t be retrieved. Opportunities may represent themselves but time lost isn’t retrievable. New opportunities come with a different time, not the old time. Using the present time to do important things frees us to use future times for other important things as they arise.
Some people think being wealthy helps with good use of time but that isn’t correct. Many wealthy people have poor time management skills. Some of them pursue the wrong things with their time. Some things are more important than others. Channelling time towards the least important and least urgent things is not wise. God, family and friends should rank above most of the things that many people chase after. It is where these are being fulfilled that pursuing other things would be worthwhile. It’s said that a fool starts out in many direction but a wise man focuses on one action.It’s important that in whatever worthwhile thing you’re occupied with, you pursue it with all you have, even if it isn’t what you were made to do. That way, you’d learn a lot about yourself and find what your real talents are. When you discover your talents and harness them, they become beneficial to you. Use each hour you have as if it was a few minutes, each minute you have, as if it was a few seconds and make good use of every second; make it count. The clock is ticking now.
Written
By
Ikenna I. Anyadike
Edited by
Chukwudifu Onianwa of ChuDifu Projects
Wedding Ceremony
Bode watched as the celebration came to an end. The eating, drinking and dancing was finally over. In a matter of minutes, an event that took months and millions of Naira to plan was over. Was it worthwhile? Was it reasonable to spend so much on a wedding when, after a few years, disagreements would begin to rock the boat? After all, couples had a tendency to separate after a few years, with complaints that they were not getting what they expected from their relationshipsor citing the popular “irreconcilable” differences. These thoughts raced through Bode’s mind as he imagined the wedding spending culture that he had known almost all his life.
It was typical for people to put a lot of effort into planning their weddings but this town was particularly known for it. The focus was hardly ever on the couple building a life together. It was mostly about meeting certain expectations for the wedding ceremonies; what food was to be available, which musicartistes would perform at the reception and so much more. Basically, the wedding ceremony was more about impressing the wedding guests. The finer and more important details, including the implications of living with a spouse, seemed to be on the back burner, not the front.
Marriage ceremonies in this town were comparable to placing several people in a room, to compete with each other; they were battles to outdo someone else. People benchmarked their wedding ceremonies by standards that they felt would be expected of them by others. Everyone just wanted to impress everyone else. These ceremonies were like shows; the goal seemed to be to look better than someone else; to have a grandiose display. For an outsider, it might be an obvious error in values but in this society it was ingrained in the thinking and it was not considered reasonable to think in a different manner. Even children there learned early that it was important to put up an impressive presentation during a wedding.
Bode’s thoughts were born from his personal experience and they came to mind as he observed the lavish details that had gone into the wedding of his friend, Jide. Bode’s own wedding, though quite expensive, was not as glamorous as Jide’s. A few weeks earlier, Jide had successfully sealed a deal with an oil-services company. The deal had fetched him scores of millions of Naira and so Jide was more than happy to spend a much larger sum of money on his wedding. His bride, Alero, was really decent and homely, as Jide had insisted, but in view of his own personal experience, Bode didn’t think that spending so much on the wedding was reasonable. “It’s once in a lifetime!” Jide had said some days earlier, when Bode cautioned him about the growing expenses. That was a normal expression in the town but Bode no longer saw wisdom in that phrasethat he had known since he was a child.
When Bode got married, the future was not really put into consideration. He had wishes and dreams but there was no clear pathway towards them. His wedding was quite lavish. He made sure that it measured up with what was expected for an executive of his cadre, considering the past weddings of his fellow entrepreneurs. He had taken the plunge into heavy spending because it was just the expectation of everyone. He expected that, like people usually said, the future would take care of itself. The future didn’t do that, unfortunately.
Four years into Bode’s marriage seemed more like ten years of a struggle. Titi, his wife, had been out of work for almost a year. Their first child was ready for school and the fee for his class was quite high, considering the school that they chose. Their second child was a toddler but he had such a large appetite for food and he was fed from only the best baby food brands available. The cost of managing the family was very high. To add tohis troubles, Titi would nag Bode continually, from his inability to provide what she considered a reasonable degree of comfort for the family, to the fact that he spent more time outside the home than ever before, with nothing tangible to show for it. Bode did spend a lot of time outside his home but it was largely because he wanted to be away from the apparently-endless complaints of his wife. Time out with his male friends was an opportunity for him to forget the strains at home.
Bode was almost always broke. It was the usual thing for him to call on his friends for loans before his company received payments for services it had rendered. Sometimes they teased him, asking if his constant borrowing would allow them have enough savings to plan their own weddings. Bode was the only married one among them. Even though he had an expensive wedding ceremony, it now seemed silly to him that his friends would want to spend beyond their means as they planned theirs. If only he had thought carefully before his wedding; maybe he’d have defied the norm and done what was more reasonable.Some weeks before Jide’s wedding, as their clique hanged out for the usual weekend drinks, one of them teased, “Bode, prepare to welcome Jide to the club.” “A club of misery”, Bode thought to himself, as he remembered that Jide didn’t take his advice on cutting down on the wedding expenses.
Jide’s wedding finally came around. Before the end of the celebration at the reception, Bode stood up to dance and was having conversations with his different dance partners. It was his practice to make fresh connections whenever he had the opportunity, because there were always prospects for forming new business relationships at social events. Bode’s wife had left the reception venue for home, as she had to relieve her younger sister who was babysitting the children for her. An elderly man was curious to see that a married man withhis wedding ring clearly seen on his finger was dancing rather irresponsibly. The man made a decision to speak with Bode before he left, as soon as an opportunity arose.
Jide’s wedding ceremony was finally over and the expensive decorations and other props used at the wedding were being removed by some staff from the event planning company. Bode was thinking about the vanity of it all – expensive decorations and props, only for a few hours. Millions spent, just for the sake of creating a great impression for guests; guests who didn’t really matter after all. It was at that point that the elderly man walked up to Bode. He introduced himself as Mr Babalola. “Did madam leave without you?” the man asked Bode. “Yes, she had to go home for something” Bode replied. The man explained his surprise at the manner in which Bode had danced with other women at the wedding, in spite of the fact that he was married. “It’s a long story”, Bode replied. “I have some time” the man responded.
Bode took his time to explain to the man the challenges that he faced in his marriage; his financial challenges, his wife’s diminished regard for him and more. He explained that there had been a strain in the marriage and as a result, neither he nor his wife accorded the other much respect. He went on to state how his fortune had changed shortly after his marriage, contrary to his expectation. He also explained the lavish spending on his wedding ceremony.As he talked about his wife’s weight gain while he was losing weight, his hands started to shake in anger. He also informed Mr Babalola about his in-laws’ continual request for help with their upkeep in spite of their knowledge of his financial situation.
Mr Babalola smiled and shook his head gently. He asked about Bode’s preparation before his wedding, to which Bode elaborated on the plans that he and his wife made for the ceremony and the dreams that they had envisioned for their home; yearly holidays, shopping plans, the children’s education, etc. “You have much to learn”, Mr Babalola told Bode. “Life is like the lifecycle of a butterfly” he said. “It has stages. There is growth over time. You shouldn’t expect so much at earlier stages.” He continued, “Consider how you grew from childhood. Did you immediately start running? You doubtless started with crawling then you started to stand on your feet. When you became stronger and more confident, you started to walk and then started to run, with little struggle until you mastered it and did it without thinking twice. That’s how life is.”
Mr Babalola continued with his lesson to Bode. “In the same way as child development, in marriage, we are all to take small steps and then graduate to bigger ones. Otherwise, we wouldn’t make a lot of progress. Your challenge was in understanding where you were in your growing process. You didn’t consider that marriage would demand more from you financially, as opposed to the time when you were single and that has affected you greatly. You didn’t plan for the proper things. Having money at the outset could help because its lack sometimes brings problems in marriage but it isn’t the most important thing.”Bode was confused. “How do you say in one breath that lack of money can bring problems in a marriage and still say it isn’t the most important thing?”
“Money is either important or not and in my situation it’s obvious that it’s important.” Bode said. He didn’t understand how money could not be a key factor in his challenges, since the majority of the issues in his marriage stemmed from its lack. Mr Babalola realised that he needed to explain further.“For the record, happiness doesn’t start or end with money but one must admit that money helps. Nonetheless, remember that money is finite. It’s a resource that is limited in quantity. If you have a dream of living a rich lifestyle, you should plan to sustain such a lifestyle. You must consider present and future expenses, alongside your income, to be able to do that successfully. You only dreamed of a lifestyle but didn’t think about the implications of that lifestyle, to plan for it.The problem was your planning. I will tell you a story.”
“Ejike and Tola were friends. They were very close. They graduated from the same secondary school and were usually together. Seven years after their graduation, Ejike started a business and within a short time, he became rich. Having made a lot of money early in life, he reasoned that the next step was to get married. On the other hand, Tola’s business yielded very little but he made do with it. Over time, especially because of the distance between them, Ejike and Tola saw and communicated with each other less often.”
“Ejike thought he would never experience misfortune. His business was in importation and sale of all sorts of drinks; alcoholic and non-alcoholic; high-end and low-end brands. He chose to stick with what he believed was a winning business and business formula. When advised to diversify his operations, his usual response was, “Ndi mmadu ga na anwu mmaya, ma mmaya diri…ma ahia na aga aga”implying that people would keep drinking once there was alcohol and so business would keep growing.Everything Ejike did was in grand style. His wedding, home, cars, his children’s education; everything he was associated with was exquisite. Sadly, things didn’t continue that way for long. Ejike’s competitors swiftly took over most of his business clients, offering better prices and other incentives. He was unable to pay his staff regularly and they started sabotaging his business by short-changing him and stealing his products. In the end, he accumulated so much debt that he sold his luxury cars and the mansion that he lived in. He also sold the two plots of land that he owned.”
“Ejike eventually died after he suffered a stroke. He had become hypertensive, following his severe loses. His wife was a housewife and so she was unable to complement his income. Ejike had managed to buy a tricycle with which he engaged a hired driver in commercial transportation after he had sold his vehicles but the arrangement was a disaster, as he experienced many loses all through his engagement with the driver. Every week, there was always at least a case of trouble with the police, traffic officers, repairs or some other issue. “What happened to Tola?” Bode askedMr Babalola. “Tola realised the reasons for his slow business growth and worked hard at increasing his income. He got married five years after Ejike but he was better prepared. He eventually had four children and obtained a PhD after a short while.”
“Do you know the difference between the two friends?” the man asked Bode. “Planning, I guess!” he responded. Mr Babalola smiled. “One was organised but the other wasn’t. Tola had a vision and planned towards it but Ejike was short-sighted. Ejike expected that his circumstances would not change and so he didn’t plan. He just consumed all that came his way. Son, whatever you have before marriage will be as nothing after marriage if you don’t plan for the future. There are many other issues though and as challengescome your way; financial and otherwise, you would have to be patient with the behaviour of your spouse and you’d have to do your best to bring out the best in them. After everything,you’ll find it will be worthwhile. You complained about your wife gaining weight while you lost weight. Women tend to gain weight after marriage. It happens with men too. It’s a fact you have to live with. Exercise and good diet practices help but there’s that tendency.”
“Could Ejike’s and Tola’s story be real?” Bode finally asked Mr Babalola. “Of course; it happens all the time. Young man, think about these things, while there is still time to better your situation.” Mr Babalola stood up to leave. He shook Bode’s hand. “All the best son.”Bode was happy to shake his hand back; he had been armed with very important information. “Thank you very much, sir”, Bode said. Mr Babalola smiled happily as he walked away. One of the ladies who Bode had danced with earlier walked up to him and asked, “What did Prof.say to you?” “Who?” Bode asked. “The influential Prof. Omotola Olusegun Babalola; the old man you were chatting with…What did he say to you? He’s always giving people advice”. “Oh him?” Bode responded, as he stood up to leave. “You didn’t ask for my phone number” she said. “That’s true”, Bode replied, as he began to walk away. “I have to leave now”. “Is this how you would treat a lady? You didn’t even allow us get introduced” she responded. “I’m sorry”, he replied. “I’m Bode Adetiloye, a happily-married man and father of two. I need to get home to my wife. What’s your own name?” “Ah!” she responded, angrily. “Prof. has done it again!”
Written
By
Ikenna I. Anyadike
Edited by
Chukwudifu Onianwa of ChuDifu Projects
I WANT TO BE A BOSS
Viewed externally, Aden was wonderful; the proverbial promised land.You could easily become wealthy there. In it, hard work was quickly rewarded. There, goodwill could be gained easily and honestly. Dubious individuals in Aden were even able to become wealthy through their trade. The country was great and hunger was difficult to hear of in the entire land. Even Aden’s beggars were always filled.
If you invested in Aden, you could reap twice your capital in returns. It was the toast of the countries around it. Human and material resources of various forms were available. It was a unique place – well positioned for commerce. That was the view of Aden from outside its borders. Inside the country, however, things were very different.
In reality, Aden was beset with many challenges. Its people suffered a lot. It had a high crime rate, poor infrastructure and so many other undesirable situations. That was at variance with the expectations and thoughts of everyone outside. Outsiders saw Aden as a haven but those within its borders felt otherwise. The land of promise was, in reality, a land of waste. In spite of its great potential, Aden was failing.
Different people groups in Aden traded blame over its failure. Some people believed Aden’s politicians were responsible for its situation. Some others blamed the older generation of its people, another blamed the youths for the trouble and the final group blamed Aden’s failure on its religious leaders. Sadly, as they played the blame game, no one proffered real solutions to help the country make progress.
“Is Aden under a spell?” Foreign tourists in the country asked that as they considered the divergence between Aden’s actual status and others’ perception of it. If other nations had half of Aden’s resources, they would have been five or more times better. Were Adenites blind to the riches all around them?Many of them, in reality, ran helter-skelter,never really pin-pointing their problem sources or the solutions required. They seemed to be jinxed and that was one thing that needed breaking.
A deep look into the situation of things would reveal that Aden’s political class looked out for themselves alone. They stored up so much wealth, as though they were keeping such for their unborn generations. It was the commonwealth of the people but it was being squandered by a few men in privileged positions. Such money was originally earmarked for strengthening the country’s development but Aden’s politicians channelled it inappropriately. One would think they will better the nation with such funds, share the wealth around, empower the young ones, make investment in the country to attract foreign investor, pull their hand off certain business to encourage indigenous private company to strive in them but rather they kept deferring action on important aspects of Aden’s development, complaining about the inherent hassles. They believed they could attend to those areas at a later time.
Aden’s youths, on the other hand, had a sense of entitlement to positions of prominence in the country. They were of the opinion that the country’s older generation of leaders in all spheres; religious, social, etc., had used up their fair share of time in leadership positions and should relinquish many of those positions to the youths. “They have sucked Aden dry and are eating tomorrow’s seed that is meant for us. Is our future the air they are to breathe?” One of the vocal youths shouted that as he aired his views during an interview in a local television programme. Aden’s youths’ agitations were met with stiff opposition from all groups, who insisted that the youths were largely irresponsible and grossly inexperienced to provide leadership.
Aden’s youths were young and vibrant and they were eager to take over the reins of power but were they really ready for that? Many of them were carefree and clueless about what it took to be respectable leaders. They were more interested in the recognition that accompanied leadership positions. They weren’t worthy of such. They were not patient to learn either and that was a particularly bad thing because with the largely irresponsible leadership in the country, there were few good examples to serve as role models.
Youths are young and vibrant and they love to exercise influence. Driving SUVs, becoming wealthy and rising to positions of prominence, were things young Adenites longed for. “Let us be bosses; let us be bosses!” they continually clamoured. There was nothing wrong with being bosses but most young Adenites were not ready for such. While a quick rise to riches and prominence was possible, the youths needed patience to go through the process of growing, to enable them achieve their desires over time. Sometimes, to be able to manage an SUV, one would need to learn how to manage a saloon car.
Youthful exuberance is a fact of life but the ability to listen and learn, rather than constantly argue to prove a point is a key requirement for leadership. Rushing into a position of leadership could result in a colossal failure.Being bosses would require being as capable as, or better able than,the older generation but most of Aden’s youths were not yet ready.They needed good tutelage. They were eager to become bosses but they really did not have the qualities or experience necessary to be effective leaders. They had a lot to learn, from mannerism to strategy and planning skills, to how to go about advocacy, executing plans and bringing about change.
On the religious front, what held sway was pitiable; the leaders of the various religions were not truthful. Religious leaders should encourage better morals and societal reforms but in Aden, they were selfish. Rather than preach to the people about the need for conformity with religion and to seek the general good,Aden’s religious leaders preached messages that were aimed at their own enrichment. They insisted that they had a divine mandate and were walking according to that mandate. They claimed that their mandate sought the best outcome for humanity. They constantly urged their congregations to give willingly, even to the point of debt, claiming that their message was divine. Their practice enslaved the people under the pretext of worship and piety.
Whenever the leaders of the various religions in Aden were asked whether it was the wish of their maker to see the land restored, they typically responded, “Yes” but their answers were usually followed by self-centred and self-promoting statements such as “He will change things around by himself” or “Things will get better when our people get into political leadership positions”; “…when our religion or teachings are accepted all over the country”; “…when our enemies who oppose our religion are dead”, etc.
Aden’s people groups continued to play the blame game. They were all implicit in the situation, however. The fate of their country was in their hands and their collective actions and inactions had placed them in their situation. Conscious, purposeful, effort on the part of every one of the major groups; the politicians, the elders, the youths and the religious leaders, would have returned the country to the right path but the will for that was lacking; everyone was after his or her own interest.
Until conscious action was taken to move Aden forward, positive change and development would remain dreams. It takes people who are willing to bring positive change to cause it to happen. Finger-pointing alone does not cause meaningful change. Sometimes it only results in causing infuriation between people. What could Aden have done differently? What exactly would have tipped things over for good in the nation? Working together, for the common good!
Aden’s possession of vast human and material resources was not in question. When outsiders praised the land, it was on the basis of information they had about it. A lot of misinformation had been peddled for years about the country but it was not true. Its people were not united. If the politicians were to use the nation’s funds for the very purpose that they were meant; if they were to be accountable to the people, rather than seek their own personal interests, things would take a positive shift.
If the politicians stopped their shameful display of ill-gotten wealth and if they focused on governance, which was the essence of their election, the citizens of the country and the teeming youth population would trust them more.Aden’s elders, while right about the situation with many of the country’s youths, were not helping matters. They were not consciously embracing even the few responsible youths, to inspire them and mentor them for leadership. They constantly castigated the entire group of youths. They had no plan for them. A nation that neglects its youths endangers its future because those youths might become clogs in the wheels of progress rather than a formidable force for the implementation of future initiatives for the welfare of the nation.
On the heels of the politicians and elders in Aden, if the religious leaders would begin to speak the truth and live with a good conscience before God, the people of Aden would be in better hands. It is important to walk in honesty. Using the name of God to deceive people and for personal enrichment was shameful and absolutely condemnable. It was sly and unbecoming for people who were supposed to walk in truth. They needed to repent. They needed God’s forgiveness. They also needed the people’s forgiveness.
Aden’s religious leaders would do well to retrace their steps and begin to preach the truth to their congregations. They would do well to place their needs last because in service to God, reward comes from God Himself, not from people. God may enrich a person through others but no one would need to manipulate others in order to make that happen. Preaching peace, love, kindness and other godly virtues should have been the priority of Aden’s religious leaders.
If Aden’s youths would be more responsible and less self-centred; if they would have the future of their country at heart, transiting to leadership positions would be easier. Their expectations of a sudden rise to prominence were unrealistic and irresponsible. Giving national political power to unready youths was a recipe for trouble. Rather than clamour for the politicians to quickly relinquish their positions to the youths, the youths should have first demanded that the politicians become more responsible. Following that, they could have called upon politicians and elders to institute systems for grooming young people on the qualities and imperatives of leadership, to prepare them for those roles in future.
“We want to take leadership!” That was the clamour of Aden’s youths. In truth, they were each saying, “I want to be the boss!” Leadership is not about wielding power whichever way one wishes. It is about taking responsibility for stirring the direction of movement. It requires knowledge, selflessness and sacrifice. Being the boss is not the imperative of leadership. The youths in Aden would need to learn that.
If all the people groups in the land looked at the bigger picture, they would really be able to move the nation forward; they would tap into a goldmine beyond the material resources of the country; their hearts. With that, the treasures they had constantly sought in other countries would be uncovered on their own soil. Aden would then be almost limitless and it citizens would be the better for it.
Written
By
Ikenna I. Anyadike
Edited by Chudikufu Onianwa of ChuDifu Projects